I'm In Pictures!

Hey my friends, I'm so glad to see that your following our blog and keeping up with the secret lives of the Teletubbies. Since our comeback into showbusiness the phone has really been ringing off the hook. We are getting so many offers for shows and appearances that we just can't keep up with them all. The only problem I've had is that I am up late at night reading scripts next to a box of donuts and a bag of chips. This late night snacking has caused me to pick a little extra baggage around the middle.

I decide that I'm not going to let my fans down by becoming the next Teletubby blimp. I have started a workout program and hired a couple of personal trainers to deal with this problem. I met these two guys who were hanging out in the gym together pumping iron. The two guys were Lou and Arnold. These guys looked like solid steel and promised to make me the buffest Teletubby in showbusiness.

The training was going good till I discovered that Lou and Arnold had a busier schedule that I had. Lou kept talking about get a lead acting role for some character the looked like the jolly green giant on a vegetable can. Arnold kept saying that he is trying to get into politics. All he kept talking about was saving California. What do you think he meant by that? He kept leaving in the middle of our workout saying " keep working out without me." "I'll be back". Lou kept coming to the gym with this weird looking green makeup and bushy eye brows. I hope nobody thinks he gay.

With Arnold campaigning and Lou walking around in his little green costume, I've been left pretty much on my own to work out. I got to get back into shape or I going to be back to square 1. Since Lou and Arnold left me, I was able to talk the other Teletubbies into doing a workout video with me. What other way to lose weight that to aerobicize with your best buddies? Working out is starting be fun. I'm spending time with friends and losing some of this fat ass.

Whew! all this working out stuff is making me hungry. Does anybody want to join me for a milkshake? Come on! I'm buying! What's better that a nice tall milkshake after a grueling workout? It's kind of a reward for all my hard work. Ehhhhhhh. Ohhhhhhhhhh! Here comes Arnold; I better hide this milk shake. Gotta go Fans. See you at the gym.

Great news !

Hi guys !

I have a wonderful news ! You can't even imagine, I'm so excited !

I was walking down the street when a random guy that I knew from my childhood recognized me. We shot the breeze a little bit and he had a crazy idea.

A cra-zy idea.

Alright I can't wait anymore.

I have the pleasure to announce to you that... THE TELETUBBIES ARE BACK ON TV ! Isn't it awesome? I'm so happy for all those kids and I can't wait for the first episode.

So are you going to be watching TV tomorrow at 4 pm ET on PBS? Let me just let you know that you would be biggest f******* idiot on earth.

April Fools.

Ah.

Laa-Laa

Laa La'album !

Hello !

I have good news ! After all those months of hard work to live of my passion, I finally have a contract ! Let me explain. When Dipsy started to hang out and sing with Lil'Jon, I came with him a couple of times. Lil'Jonny, like I say, loved me and hired me as a translator for France (Ménage à trois et voilà !).

I was working there when I met Brittney and Maria Carey comparing their boobs in the toilet of the studio. I felt sketchy and get a little tiny surgery here in South Florida. My new friends loved it and offered me to sing on my own album, I'm so excited ! I have already written a couple of song like "LaaLaalizer", "Friends forever" and "Goon and green balloon", featuring Lil'Jon and DipJobs. It is already a real triumph !

I have to go, Maria is waiting for me...

It was a real pleasure to share some of my deep feelings with you, dear followers. I am going to miss you, and I mean it.

Oh and by the way, don't forget to live your dreams.

Au revoir !

I'm Back In Action Fans!

Hi my friends. I feels so good to back to work. What's going on out there in TV land? I just finish auditioning for a series of new movies. The first audition was for a movie called smoky and the Teletubby. My first audition went a little rough though. have a looksie.

The next movie I thought I was a roll of charmin bath tissue the way this guy kept squeezing my belly. He squeezed my stomach so hard I started making all kind of funny noises. I thought my teletummy would short circuit by the time this idiot finished squeezing me.

I even auditioned for a scary movie called Po-ltergeist. What a rush it was to make that movie. I also attempted to audition for a sequel to the exorcist but i could'nt get my head to spin around more than once. Whew! All this acting business is wearing me out. I need to take a load off. Just when I thought my day would end, in comes Barney singing that stupid "I love you song."

Barney just dropped by to show his support. I just wish he would spare me that stupid song.

Just when I thought I would get the Smoky and the Teletubby part, William Shatner walks in with an idea for a new trekkie movie. Shatner wanted to incorporate adventures of the teletubbies in space travel. I told him I would take the part because my teletummy was designed to store and analyze data; something that me prove valuable in space travel. I just hope he does'nt ask me to put those damm pointy ears on. Eh Ohhhhhh. Peace out fans!

YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH! WHAAAT!!??!? OKAAAAY!

Hey there Dipsy fans, or DipJobs as they're called in the streets. Well... no one calls them that, but they should. Alright, so there's not actually any "Dipsy fans" out there. But if there were, they would DEFINITELY be called DipJobs. So anyway, to whomever is reading this...

I have some good news and some better news. Good news is, it looks like all this blogging business has finally paid off. I was recently contacted by a fellow musician and producer who has been reading the posts and wants to help get my music career off the ground. Better news, it's f**king Lil Jon. Yes. THE crunk juice drinking, 'yeaaah' screaming, gold toothed Lil Jon.

I'm not sure if you really, fully understand what this means. When you're a rapper - especially one that hangs out with guys like Lil Jon - A) you don't have to pay for alcohol anymore (for me, this is a big deal) B) you become more popular in strip clubs than a Snickers bar at fat camp. (for me, this is an ever bigger deal) C) you get to hang out with the girls from the rap music videos (this should be a big deal for anyone).

Alright yo, I'm off to the studio to work on my first big hit. It's going to be called, "I might look soft, squishy and green, but I will whoop yo ass like you owe me money." I really think I nailed it with the title. Am I right or am I right?

Peace out DipJobs.

My First Week Back at Work

So, Cleatus generously hired me to work on his new television show. It wasn't exactly as I had anticipated, but it was descent. The show was dirty, but it did allow me to play with babies. Not human babies though. Little piggies are cuddly i came to find out!

Anyways, the show takes place on his pig farm. He does have some children that think i'm cute and cuddly too, which is anything but a benefit for me. He's paying me four hundred dollars a show. Cash money baby! He's also allowing me to live on his farm for free, so I really can't complain. Kentucky's not all that bad.

I would've never thought I'd reside in Kentucky in a million years. I guess things happen for a reason though. It's quaint, and everybody knows each other. I guess that's what I've been looking for all along. I have a chance to be loved here in Kentucky. As for my fame, I can through that out the window. I have little piggies to play with, redneck children to wrestle with, and a town that loves me.

So from being a fugitive and winding up being held captive in an opium den, not to mention with a pain in my rectum, I get to live in the quaint state of Kentucky.

Oh, and one more thing!

I'm Gay!

I Love You!

Blarney Blast in Dublin!

Hey fans its me again, Po. I just got back from a true Blarney blast in Dublin Ireland. I attempted to get myself out in public to see if I could drum up some international support for the Teletubbies. I participated in the Dublin parade which was for charity. The only problem I had is some group of teenagers took offense to my red color and started shooting me with green paint balls. What a way to show their appreciation!

After being riddled with green paint balls, I thought it was time to leave the parade scene and find the festivities. I sudden stumbled upon a street which was holding what appeared to be the ultimate Irish festival. People were holding beer mugs filled with green beer. I later found out that it was the Dublin St. Patricks day celebration 2010. Just when everything was going well, Some stupid leprechaun kept following me around claiming that I stole his four leaf clover. I had to pour the balance of my green beer over his head to get rid of him. People were also naked in the street with green body paintings. Blarney would have been proud!

Feeling a bit famished due to all the green beer consumption, I wandered into a restaurant called Bennigan's of Dublin. I walked in and some Irish guy said " Top of the morning to ya." Only thing it was 2:00pm in the afternoon. All the food at this Bennigans was green. Green monte cristo's, green burger, fries; even the potato skins were green. I think my insides will be green before its all done.

I had a great time in Dublin but its time to get back home to the other Teletubbies. I been so enebriated with that green liquid that I almost forgot about our comeback tour. To make things worse, my pooh problem is back, and this time its green. Look what i did in the woods. I thought Dublin would bring me luck, but all I came away with is the greenies. Is this what you call the luck of the Irish?

St Beer's day

Hey, it's Laa Laa again !

Today, I'd like to talk about St Patrick. St Patrick's day. The only thing I knew was pretty much what is on this picture... Anyway, everybody was talking about it so I wanted to do something special for this famous St-Patrick's day ! My other teletubbies friends already had plans, so I accepted the offer of a guy to go for a drink. But first, I wanted to know what this day was about, so I asked my dear friend wikipedia :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/St_Patrick%27s_Day

Ok, so it is an irish feast day also celebrated in the USA. Let's go to an Irish bar then yeah ! As a french person, I was quite happy to go back in my old loved Europe for a night. But what I saw yesterday night was everything except European.

Let's rephrase it : St Patrick's day is in fact a day when every american can wear green and go drink beer on a wednesday night. I met at least 6 guys who -they said- had irish origins (one of those even swore me that 50% of the americans actually had irish origins !)

I still don't know why I danced yesterday, but I know that I loved it !

Kiss Me, I'm Pretending I'm Irish

Dipsy here. Coming to you live from the bathroom floor. Hungover... again. Listen, it's not my fault. Life just keeps handing me excuses to get polluted. First it was Spring Break, then it was a Monday (that's still an excuse to drink right?), then St. Patrick's Day.

You want to know what happens to a little green Teletubby after a night full of green beer, Irish whiskey, Irish car bombs, and midgets dressed like leprechauns? The same exact thing that happens to everyone else... I ate some Taco Bell, I may or may not have slept with a "little person", and I spent the last 8 and a half hours puking up a hideous mix of 7 layer burrito and green booze.

I think I was supposed to meet with my agent today about some auditions for commercials or something. Oh well - looks like Dipsy won't be the new posterchild for adult diapers or some new herpes medication or something. Hey, maybe if I keep up all this drinking and self destructive behavior I can get on one of those celebrity rehab shows. Whatever it takes to get back on TV.

Well I've got a toilet bowl and some Pedialyte screamin' my name. Remember today's lesson kids: if you can't get on television for the right reasons, drink a lot and get on for the wrong reasons.... oh and the 7 layer burrito is never as good of an idea as you think it is.

Get Your Green On!

Well, thank God my ex-girlfriend has connections! She was able to frame this guy for me.

I don't know who he is, but at the least I can get out of this place and move on!

I made It back to the Homeland Tuesday, just in time to plan for St. Patrick's Day. I wanted to parade with some super hero competitors.

I was able to find a parade in Kentucky. Boy did it blow up my publicity! I was able to parade around and get my Green on! Literally! The turnout was good, and this gentleman named Cleatus said he might have some work on television for me to do. Heck Yea!

I was so excited! I bag danced all the way home!

Why Leave Out The Big Purple Guy?

Well, I'm stuck here in Japan. My ex-girlfriend sent me a Tele-gramm saying she saw me on the news. Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to spend my spring break in Key West with the crew. Thankfully my fellow's i met here are allowing me to stay with them. The conditions aren't that good though. The whippings hurt. That pain in my rectum hasn't gone away, unknowingly why.

These Japanese inhabitants have me working all day long. It's horrible! I think it's some sort of sweat shop, but I don't know what I'm making. I handle peices of hard rubber all day, and cut them to a length of eight inches. That's my job. Nothing else. I just cut pieces of rubber. My My My!

But at least after work we have playtime. I kind of enjoy that aspect of it. No women, no glamor, but there is still time for me to escape. I have my ex-girlfriend working on finding someone as a set-up to get charged with the murder of Robert McDonald. I'll see how that goes, and until then I hope you all have an absolutely wonderful spring break!

Spring Break 2010: Key West Style

Finally got the chance to see what all the hooplah is about spending spring break in Key West. I met up with the other Teletubbies to kick off spring break. We met in this nice park near the beach. Only thing, while we were trying to get our drink on; several roosters started chasing us around the park. I don't why there is so many roosters in key west. I ran across the street trying to get away from one. That damm rooster chased me clear up the lighthouse.

Well anyway, I was really glad to be back together with the other Teletubbies spending spring break in Key West. There was a lot of really hot ladies hanging out around the southernmost point taking pictures. Lots of the girls there really dig Teletubbies and wanted to have their picture taken with us. We were the talk of the town. We were shown love everywhere we went.

It's about 12:00 noon and I am feeling a bit hungry. I opted for one of hemmingway's favorite places to eat. Talk about a Key West party! Margarita's were being slung from table to table; the sound of Jimmy B was in the air. I felt like I was in tropical heaven! I suddenly felt like this was the opportunity to get the Teletubbies some exposure and back in showbusiness. I left the other teletubbies over at Sloppy Joes, and went to Duval St.

I suddenly found myself on Duval St. doing the famous "Duval Crawl." I had one drink from every bar on on the Strip. I soon started to feel that my better judgement was getting away from me. I let some gorgeous Teletubby groupie drag me back to her hotel room and have her way with me. The next day I woke up with this terrible burning sensation. What can it be? I can't pee! Just my luck, no publicity for the Teletubbies and the only thing I leave key west with is this terrible STD.

What Happens on Spring Break Stays on Spring Break

Hey boys and girls.

So it's spring break and I'm down in the Keys doing what I do best. You know... reminiscing about my former fame, wallowing in my sorrows, drinking away my problems, crying myself to sleep PARTYING and TOTALLY PICKING UP A TON OF CHICKS! You see all the girls in that picture? Scored with all of them. Alright, well maybe not all of them, but definitely that one in the middle. Ok, so I didn't score with her, but we were hooking up the entire night. Fine, we didn't hook up. I just sat there all night and listened to her drunken rant about how her ex-boyfriend always posts pictures on Facebook with new girls and how her parents like her sister more because she married a lawyer. But we totally bonded, I mean she said she thought of me like a brother... which basically means she's way into me.

Anyway, Key West is pretty sick. I've been making myself at home at all the bars up and down Duval Street. Its weird, it turns out we've got a pretty big following down here. Probably has something to do with Tinky Winky and all that talk about his 'alleged homosexuality'. And by 'alleged homosexuality' I mean everyone thinks that guy is gay. Everyone.

I'm probably going to get a tattoo tomorrow. I thought it over one night while I was wasted a lot, and I've decided it's a great idea. Chicks definitely dig tattoos. I just can't decide whether to get a Chinese character that means "STRENGTH", a tribal arm band, or a portrait of that old vacuum cleaner that used to live with us. You know, that old bastard Noo-Noo. They're all such good ideas.

Well listen, I've only got 2 days left down here, so I'm out like a deaf kid in musical chairs.

Opera-Laa

Hey dear followers !

This week has been crazy... I was expecting to have a totally basic week, looking for a new job and hanging out with my teletubbies friends, but this horrible thing happened... The earthquake in Chile, a so beautiful country. And me who was thinking about going in South America next week with the Spring break student, I think I'm going to change my mind ! Anyways, Dispy, Tinky Winky and Poo wanted to do something, use our ex-notoriety for those poors chilians so we started to brainstorm like Procter & Gamble CEOs (Rest in peace Robert) !

We made this conference as the Apollo theater. A photographer (actually the only one) fell asleep... I then saw my friends doing more or less respectable things to help. But you know how I am, I wanted to find something special, I wanted to impress... While Dipsy was selling his pride for a Big Mac Maxi menu with barbecue sauce (He probably didn't tell you, but he actually accepted the offer ! Don't judge him, the barbecue sauce was such a huge argument...), I decided to do what I love the most. And I posted a little opéra air on Youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyPUQE6RxEU Do you like it? Be honnest.

I already collected 15$ with my mixtape sales but also received some bad comments.

I think I just have to accept it. And after all, artists are always misunderstood at the beginning of their career right ?

Take care Chile.

Laa Laa

Po Does Broadway!

Whew! Wee! I sure am exhausted from all the crazy stuff that happened this week. From the earthquake in Chile, to the rollout of my new pooh formula; I have really been burning the candle. I decided that I was going to join Dipsy and Tinky Winky in their effort to raise money for the earthquake victims. I figured since I am regular again and everything is flowing as normal , I can break free from this bathroom and do something for a good cause.

I thought I could showoff my dancing skills to the boys and girls and maybe earn some money for charity to boot. I'm also planning to give $1.00 scooter riding lessons to all my fans who come out to the fundraiser. I'm thinking about giving away a free Po endorsed scooter to the winner of my own scooter riding contest. I also got together with Tinky Winky, Dipsy, and Laa Laa for a charity press conference at the Apollo theater.

In addition to the our press conference at the Apollo. I thought it would be nice to make a broadway appearance to make our efforts known to the world. Only thing some dumb ass groupie from behind the curtain started throwing tomatoes at me because I refused to give him an autograph earlier. That's it I said. I'm tired of this abuse. Let's get off this stage and make some real money.

So I quickly left the broadway appearance and sponsored a scooter race. Only thing, some idiot took it upon himself to mess up my race by crashing into all the other participants in the race. I think we may have raised a significant amount of money, but it all may go to hospital bills before we are done. Anyway, the campaign to raise any real money was a wash. Hopefully, the world will appreciate our charitable spirit, and give the teletubbies another chance at stardom!

$12.23 + French Fries OBO

Hey there everyone!

So with the terrible earthquake that occurred down in Chile this week, the rest of the Teletubbies and I all decided to do our part in helping out. You all may not know this, but the Teletubbies are big into charity work. Back in my heyday, when the show was at its peak, I would go out with ugly chicks and fat chicks all the time. I'm talking like 2 or 3 times a week. If that's not charity, well then I don't know what is. And I mean I've got some extra time on my hands these days. What with not having a hit PBS television show anymore... or any job really... or a wife... or friends... or a life.

I don't really do international travel anymore. Not after the amount of time I've spent with TSA agents' hands in places I didn't know I had. Random inspections my ass. I can't walk within 10 feet of an airport without being strip searched. I look like a 250-pound green infant... is that really a threat? Anyway, since I couldn't get down to Chile to help, I figured I would stick around here and raise money for the cause. And what's the best way to raise money for charity? Selling yourself for dates on Craigslist... obviously.

So I put up a listing. It read, "$250 for the night of your life with Dipsy." How could that go wrong? Let me tell you how that could go wrong. After 4 days I've had 3 people contact me thinking I was prostitute, one person wondering if I was renting out some sort of sex toy, and one real offer.... from a guy... for $12.23 and a large order of McDonald's french fries. Temping as this may sound, I did not accept yet.

Looks like it's back to the drawing board.

Sorry Chile - I tried.

Holy Cow! Thanks El Nino.

Wow it's been such a week. Being a fugitive is tough work. Right when I met up with everyone back at the spaceship, I heard something fantastic on the news.

While I was pacing back and forth, wiping Robert McDonald's blood off my face, I heard on the news about an earthquake in Chile.

I hope the children are safe. I like playing with children

Anyway, I had a great Idea when the newscaster mentioned anticipated tsunamis in Japan!

So... I high-tailed on my private spaceship and got to Japan within 3 minutes. The other guys? I was too much in a rush to worry what they were doing this week... I had to get out of the USA. Anyways, I figured It would be a good Idea so that i could protect the little boys and girls, since my Tele - Tummy is also a subatomic particle converter! I was going to transform all the little boys and girls into subatomic particles, and consume them. Through my Tele - Tummy. I was going to save them, get in the front paper on all the news headlines and become famous once again!

My projections about the new fame would help me get another Television Show.

Anyways.... the tsunami never hit Japan, so I ended up getting high in one of their opium dens. I can't really remember what happened after that... I do remember running into this guy with a really strong penis.

Bag Bag Bag Hee - Hee. I lost my red bag throughout the night. I have plenty of them Prada makes them specifically for me, and I have hundreds.

I woke up with some pains in my rectum, and some new photos in my iPhone. It was strange. That's the last time I'm murdering a CEO, running to Japan in hopes of saving my playmates without being sure they're endangered!

El Nino, Thank's A Lot.

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VBWK2N2MXBT6

LOS ANGELES !

I'm so excited ! I've just came back from Los Angeles with Dipsy it was amazing. We have met this producer who was talking about a TV show concept. I don't know if I'll do it. Of course, it could be a great opportunity but I still don't know...
Anyway, I'll tell you more about it tomorrow !

Po Developes Cure For Diarrhea

Hi my loyal fans! I had the wildest week in New York City. I met up with Tinky Winky on Wall Street in an attempt to get funding for our new line of toilet paper. Thats right. Our own line to toilet paper. Just imagine, cute little me on the roll with every wipe! This could be our comeback! Anyway, we were unable to raise one dime toward our toilet paper idea. Thank goodness I have a backup plan!

I have developed what will be the best remedy for diarrhea that the world has ever seen. Since Tinky Winky and I split up, I have been working on a remedy that will put an end to this dreadful pooh problem of mine for good. I call it " Po's cure for Pooh." Catchy name huh? I new you'd be excited. When I get back to LA with the other Teletubbies, well have to work on a good marketing plan for my pooh cure.

Eh ooh! I was supposed to meet Tinky Winky at the airport at 12:00 o'clock. Has anyone seen my scooter? Riding my scooter full speed through Times Square, I was suddenly jumped by a homeless man who took my experimental bottle of pooh formula. The man thought it was a bottle of wine and drank the whole thing. The homeless man started to vomit profusely. suddenly I realized that not only did I discover the best cure for diarrhea, I also found a cure for poison ingestion. Wow! $$$. I have got to find Tinky Winky and tell him the good news.

Finally I arrived at the airport and met with Tinky Winky. Tinky was pacing back and forth like something was terribly wrong. I've never seen him act so strange. He was pale, cool, sweaty, and had a rapid heartrate. I was about 1 second away from calling the pararmedics. What's the matter I asked Tinky? Tinky said that he just wacked the renown CEO for Proctor and Gamble and that the police were looking for him.

Eh ooh! We'll all be on Teletubby row before we can ever make our comeback. Frightened by everthing that happened, Tinky Winky and I quickly boarded the plane and headed back to LA to meet with Dipsy and Laa-Laa. Teletubbies reunite!

Going Back to Cali...

While Po and Tinky Winky were out in New York this week, Laa-Laa and I headed out to Los Angeles to meet with a couple executives at NBC to talk about this reality television show idea. Something about us living in a place together on the Jersey shore. I'm not sure, I can't say I'm all too thrilled about the idea, but if it will get me back in the public eye I guess I'm on board.

Anyway, the meeting was terrible. The damn television screen on my stomach kept turning on while we were talking (it happens when I'm nervous). Do you have any idea how embarrassing that is? I'm trying to talk target demographics while everyone in the room is watching Burn Notice on my stomach. It's like trying to hide a boner in sweat pants. Well, sort of like that.

So Laa-Laa and I tried to make the best of the trip. We did some sight-seeing, hit a few night clubs, anything you'd expect from a couple of washed up PBS stars.

I got together with Lady Gaga for dinner one night (she's a huge slut fan). She was wearing an outfit that looked like a unitard made entirely of duct tape, pipe cleaners, and facial hair. I love going out with her - it is the only time people look at me like I'm the normal one.

I guess this week wasn't too bad. Still no word from Justin Timberlake on the collaboration. WHAT'S UP JT?? Don't miss out on this! You'll regret it!

Weird. I just got a text from Tinky Winky. It says, "OMG. Did something bad!! If anyone asks, I was in LA with U this week!!!11! SRSLY!!!" Oh, I can't wait to hear this.

Tinky Winky Kills CEO of Procter and Gamble

What a week! I went with Po to New York and visit Wall Street, in hopes that we would find somebody to invest their hard earned cash in us! With Laa - Laa's child support, Po's Pooh problem, and Dipsy's funding for his music career, we need all the publicity we can get!

Po and I had a great idea! We figured we can get super famous by having our own brand of toilet paper! Anyways, we split up, and I bumped into Robert McDonald, the CEO of Procter and Gamble. He thought it was a wonderful idea, so he brought me into his office.

Little did I know, he had rather unhealthy projections himself! He threatened to take my skin, hunt down Po, Dipsy, and Laa - Laa, and butcher us all since we're so soft and cuddly. It turns out our fluffiness is not only soft and cuddly but also rather absorbent! Unfortunately, we'd make great 'quicker picker-uppers.'

When men in white suits showed up at his office, I got really scared, pulled out my 9 mm and busted a cap in his ass! I wasn't ready to be scalped like an Indian. I have morals!

I high-tailed out of there, meeting Po at the airport. Things were weird on the plane ride home. This child kept asking why my antennae was triangular. I told him it promotes unity in me, boys, and girls. It's three sided. He giggled and said that's gay. Then he asked about the blood on my face. I told him my purse was scratched and i tried touching it up with nail polish. I was really happy to play with him. But seriously guys, I'm not gay.

Back in the business !

Hey !

I'm Laa-Laa. The yellow one. Yes, the girl. The only girl, playing with her orange ball, dancing, singing, you remember? All those happy year, I have been the only feminine touch, have been loved by little girls and have made fall in love a lot of little boys (You can't imagine the drawings and poems I received !)

But the show stopped and I moved to Paris (Nobody knows it but I'm actually French!). Yes, all thos years, I've been living there, got married, got divorced and ended up working in Pigalle. It wasn't that bad after all.

Anyway! I'm now about to start a new life, here in the USA ! Hoping for the best but expecting the worse !

Oh by the way, I'm now living with the others TBies ! I heard some gloomy things about some of them, I hope they've been doing good all those years. Especially Him*... All those years, I didn't stop thinking about him, his strong deep voice, his tenebrous dark look... And now we are going to live together !

I will tell you how it is going and I hope you will be able to help me, I might ask for some advices later !

Laa-Laa

Don't Call It A Comeback.

So, here we are. All four Teletubbies in one place again. I have to admit, I never thought that it would happen. Four years spent running around rolling hills of AstroTurf, speaking in baby talk and holding hands. Do you know what that does to someone? I could wallpaper my house with the therapy bills. I swore to myself that I would never talk to them again. But, my therapist agent tells me this is a good idea, so I guess I'll give it a shot.

It's been nine years since the last episode aired. I can't believe that much time has passed, but a lot has happened. I got married. My wife realized she married a fuzzy green has-been. I got divorced. I did a few speaking events, but the only people who showed up were stoners, evangelical protestors, and 'that one guy' who just has to know if Tinky Winky was gay. I tried my luck in the job market, but apparently having a large green phallus on the top of your head makes you virtually unhireable.

So now I'm going back to the spotlight. Let's face it, I was made for show business. It's what I know best. I've had my agent line up some auditions for me over the upcoming weeks and I'll be letting you know how they go. Also, I'm trying to get my music career off the ground. That's my true passion. I'm thinking about doing a collaboration record with Justin Timberlake. It will be called "Jipsy" or maybe "Timbertubby". Alright, the name needs work, don't worry about that.

There's big things on the horizon.... please, God?

-Dipsy

Wow it has been forever!

Hello, I'm Tinky Winky. You remember me. That cute fuzzy purple man with a purse! It's been a long time since my boys and girls saw me on television. As it turns out, I have something to say. It's important news.

I'll get to that later.

Anyways, since my roommates and I were kicked off the air, I started shooting heroin and drinking a lot of Jack Daniels. Life became rough, living behind dumpsters and holding up Krispy Kreme delivery boys for doughnuts! Well, I'm out of rehab and it's been six weeks! So I want to tell all my followers I am sorry for the self defamation I did, because I know how much you all looked up to me while I was on T.V. How old are you now? You must be around 17! I'd love to hear how you're all doing in school! Right now I'm washing dishes at a local Chuck - E - Cheese's. It's too bad they won't let me go on stage; those were my aspirations when I started working here.

Pooh Gets The Best Of Po

Hey boys and girls. I finally have time to write to you after a very unfortunate incident that happened to me this week. You see, I've come down with the worse case of diarrhea of my life after eating at a local mexican restaurant. I feel as if I have been hit by a mack truck all because of a mere chimichanga.

My plans were to spend the rest of the week riding my bike burning off this excess teletummy. Now, Im held prisoner to this dag-gone toilet that keeps calling my name every five minutes. My name has gone from Po to Pooooooh! If any of my fans have the slightest incling to visit me, Please! Please! Bring some kaopectate!