Wow it has been forever!

Hello, I'm Tinky Winky. You remember me. That cute fuzzy purple man with a purse! It's been a long time since my boys and girls saw me on television. As it turns out, I have something to say. It's important news.

I'll get to that later.

Anyways, since my roommates and I were kicked off the air, I started shooting heroin and drinking a lot of Jack Daniels. Life became rough, living behind dumpsters and holding up Krispy Kreme delivery boys for doughnuts! Well, I'm out of rehab and it's been six weeks! So I want to tell all my followers I am sorry for the self defamation I did, because I know how much you all looked up to me while I was on T.V. How old are you now? You must be around 17! I'd love to hear how you're all doing in school! Right now I'm washing dishes at a local Chuck - E - Cheese's. It's too bad they won't let me go on stage; those were my aspirations when I started working here.