Laa La'album !


Hello !


I have good news ! After all those months of hard work to live of my passion, I finally have a contract ! Let me explain. When Dipsy started to hang out and sing with Lil'Jon, I came with him a couple of times. Lil'Jonny, like I say, loved me and hired me as a translator for France (Ménage à trois et voilà !).

I was working there when I met Brittney and Maria Carey Liencomparing their boobs in the toilet of the studio. I felt sketchy and get a little tiny surgery here in South Florida. My new friends loved it and offered me to sing on my own album, I'm so excited ! I have already written a couple of song like "LaaLaalizer", "Friends forever" and "Goon and green balloon", featuring Lil'Jon and DipJobs. It is already a real triumph !


I have to go, Maria is waiting for me...


It was a real pleasure to share some of my deep feelings with you, dear followers. I am going to miss you, and I mean it.

Oh and by the way, don't forget to live your dreams.


Au revoir !


I'm Back In Action Fans!




Hi my friends. I feels so good to back to work. What's going on out there in TV land? I just finish auditioning for a series of new movies. The first audition was for a movie called smoky and the Teletubby. My first audition went a little rough though. have a looksie.
The next movie I thought I was a roll of charmin bath tissue the way this guy kept squeezing my belly. He squeezed my stomach so hard I started making all kind of funny noises. I thought my teletummy would short circuit by the time this idiot finished squeezing me.
I even auditioned for a scary movie called Po-ltergeist. What a rush it was to make that movie. I also attempted to audition for a sequel to the exorcist but i could'nt get my head to spin around more than once. Whew! All this acting business is wearing me out. I need to take a load off. Just when I thought my day would end, in comes Barney singing that stupid "I love you song."
Barney just dropped by to show his support. I just wish he would spare me that stupid song.
Just when I thought I would get the Smoky and the Teletubby part, William Shatner walks in with an idea for a new trekkie movie. Shatner wanted to incorporate adventures of the teletubbies in space travel. I told him I would take the part because my teletummy was designed to store and analyze data; something that me prove valuable in space travel. I just hope he does'nt ask me to put those damm pointy ears on. Eh Ohhhhhh. Peace out fans!

YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH! WHAAAT!!??!? OKAAAAY!

Dipsy and Lil Jon getting CRUNK.Hey there Dipsy fans, or DipJobs as they're called in the streets. Well... no one calls them that, but they should. Alright, so there's not actually any "Dipsy fans" out there. But if there were, they would DEFINITELY be called DipJobs. So anyway, to whomever is reading this...

I have some good news and some better news. Good news is, it looks like all this blogging business has finally paid off. I was recently contacted by a fellow musician and producer who has been reading the posts and wants to help get my music career off the ground. Better news, it's f**king Lil Jon. Yes. THE crunk juice drinking, 'yeaaah' screaming, gold toothed Lil Jon.

I'm not sure if you really, fully understand what this means. When you're a rapper - especially one that hangs out with guys like Lil Jon - A) you don't have to pay for alcohol anymore (for me, this is a big deal) B) you become more popular in strip clubs than a Snickers bar at fat camp. (for me, this is an ever bigger deal) C) you get to hang out with the girls from the rap music videos (this should be a big deal for anyone).

Alright yo, I'm off to the studio to work on my first big hit. It's going to be called, "I might look soft, squishy and green, but I will whoop yo ass like you owe me money." I really think I nailed it with the title. Am I right or am I right?

Peace out DipJobs.

My First Week Back at Work


Tinky Winky Loves his Pigs
So, Cleatus generously hired me to work on his new television show. It wasn't exactly as I had anticipated, but it was descent. The show was dirty, but it did allow me to play with babies. Not human babies though. Little piggies are cuddly i came to find out!

Anyways, the show takes place on his pig farm. He does have some children that think i'm cute and cuddly too, which is anything but a benefit for me. He's paying me four hundred dollars a show. Cash money baby! He's also allowing me to live on his farm for free, so I really can't complain. Kentucky's not all that bad.

I would've never thought I'd reside in Kentucky in a million years. I guess things happen for a reason though. It's quaint, and everybody knows each other. I guess that's what I've been looking for all along. I have a chance to be loved here in Kentucky. As for my fame, I can through that out the window. I have little piggies to play with, redneck children to wrestle with, and a town that loves me.

So from being a fugitive and winding up being held captive in an opium den, not to mention with a pain in my rectum, I get to live in the quaint state of Kentucky.

Oh, and one more thing!